Monday, December 20, 2010

Dear Enemy

As some might already know, Dear Enemy is the sequel to Daddy Long Legs, both novels by the brilliant Jean Webster. My interest in classic literature featuring intelligent and independent women started after I start reading Jane Austen’s novels. Then I pried for more novels with the same theme and found Daddy Long Legs. I read it last summer and loved it very much. And I think it was a very original idea to build a story just based on letters, one sided letters; it satisfies us enough but still keeps us wondering what exactly happened.

I found out later that there is a sequel to Daddy Long Legs; Dear Enemy but the book is not in our library. The title alone sparked interest in me since I assumed the story is still about Judy and wondered what happened between her and Jervis that made them enemies. Of course I just had to find out  found a great website that have free ebooks. And the first one I looked for was Dear Enemy and they have it. Yay!!!

I read it and finished it in one night. Now I know what the novel is all about. It was diffrent from what I had expected but I was satisfied. Even when the novel was about a new character, Sallie McBride, after finishing reading it, I was left with the same warm, fuzzy, giddy, content feeling inside me; the very same feeling I had when I finished Daddy Long Legs. But this time, it was somewhat more, satisfying. And I have to say I like Dear Enemy better than Daddy Long Legs for some reasons.

First, I can relate more to Sallie than Judy since my own personality is more like Sallie than Judy. Unlike Judy who was more strong willed and mild tempered, I’m more like Sallie who might not be as strong willed but can be so if she had her heart set on something and with her short temper.

Second, Dear Enemy involved more complicated emotions regarding the evolution of hatred/dislike to love/concern unlike Daddy Long Legs that involved emotions from something unknown; probably curiosity into love. And the emotions in Dear Enemy are so much deeper and so much darker. Maybe because Sallie was very honest with her feelings inside her letters since she was confiding her best friend.

Third, I personally like Sandy a.k.a Robin McRae (I REALLY like the doctor's nickname) than Jervis and it’s truly a personal preference. Jervis is a good man but I prefer Sandy. Who could resist an enigmatic man who is actually wounded and battered by his harsh past?

Fourth, I laughed so much more when I read Dear Enemy. Sally can be very funny with her blunt and witty words but with her heart in the right place; it’s just impossible not to love her and enjoy the bickering and misunderstandings she had with the gloom doctor.

Fifth, Dear Enemy addressed the matter of marriage so much more seriously than Daddy Long Legs. Maybe because the setting was after the women graduated from college but it was so much more realistic. Judy married Jervis and they lived happily without problems while Sally had to struggle with the asylum, the children and her own family and future.

The biggest reason is probably because I personally long for the kind of relationship such as Sally and Sandy since I am quite the person with my own charm; i.e sarcasm and bluntness. So I guess I would appreciate someone that wouldn’t affected (much) by those and is able to see beyond those.Hope I can find my own 'Dear Enemy' one day~~~ 

I’ve gathered some classic novels and I will be spending my winter holiday going through them. I haven’t decided yet what I wanted to read first but I have a few titles in mind.

p/s : Oh, John Anderson, my jo!!!!!

p/s2: And there’s nothing wrong with reading classic literature for fun!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Lessons I've Learnt From 'How To Train Your Dragon'

*Warning: Rambling. Read at your own risk*
*Warning: Spoilers for the movie*

I've watched 'How To Train Your Dragon' last summer but it was blury and all so it didn't get to me as much as yesterday when I watched it in high quality, in the comforting solitude of my dark room and my trusted laptop. Needless to say, the movie blew me away (for the second time). How cute is Toothless? And how funny is Hiccup with his sarcastic and witty remark? Love them! And of course since I'm a fan of Gerard Butler, I just love his voice as Stoick, Hiccup's father. it~~

Anywho, the lesssons I have learnt from this movie is not exactly about dragons and viking but more like about relationships between people.  I know the movie title is ‘How To Train Your Dragon’ not ‘How To Be In A Relationship’ but watching this movie reminds me that the relationships featured in the movies is very much like relationships in our daily life, if you watch really closely. So, let me break my opinion down for you.. 

Ok, picture yourself as Hiccup and Toothless as someone new in your life, someone you just met and started to get acquianted. When Hiccup met Toothless, he was so afraid of it and so did Toothless; of the unknown. But they learnt that they both shared the same curiosity and interest to know each other. Same goes when we meet a new person. We're practically started with being strangers and we gradually started to know each other despite being scared/afraid/nervous/unsure when we first meet them.

Then Hiccup and Toothless get along, not really well at first. But with effort from both sides, they managed to know what the other like or hate. Like the time Toothless drew lines on the ground and Hiccup stepped on his drawing and Toothless snarled. It’s the same application with relationship. We will step on someone’s boundaries or tick them off by doing something that they don’t like/hate. Then Hiccup realized why Toothless was snarling and he realized the reason why Toothless was so upset. Same goes with relationships; we learnt from our mistakes and learnt new things. Then Hiccup learnt more about Toothless, what he likes and what he hates and what made him angry and what made him purr. Same goes in real life.

Then Hiccup realized that Toothless is not perfect, he lost half his wing tail. And Hiccup tried to filling up the gaps with his handmade wing. After that, it took them quite some time out of trial and error to figure out how to make things work. In real life, we will find out our partner new friend/partner/acquinatance/bf/gf/etc is not perfect and will be with flaws, lots of them. And we will do the right thing by accepting it and try to fill the gaps. And the both of uswill try and try and try again until we get it right to make things work. Note that I use the word ‘fill up’ and not ‘fix’ with Hiccup and Toothless. Same goes for us, we can’t fix our partner and etc to be the way we want them to be, we can only fill what was missing and it won’t be as good but it will work, with both our efforts. Just like Hiccup and Toothless.

Then when the people around them found out about Toothless and Hiccup, we can learn a few things based on their reactions. In this case, Astrid found out. Let’s say Astrid is someone quite important in our life, say a good friend. When the good friend found out that the two of you are getting closer, they would start going protective over you or worst, jealousy. And we will feel torn apart between our partner (from now on, let's refer to this new person in our life as our partner) and our friend; that is normal. Like Hiccup with Toothless and Astrid. Bear in mind, our partner and friend will most probably start off with the wrong feet and will probably hate each other for some time. But then the friend and our partner will learn about each other; just like they did with us and they will see what we see. Just like how Astrid saw how Toothless is not so bad and vice versa.

Then, came in the family. In the movie, the family is Hiccup’s father, Stoick. He was very protective of Hiccup from Toothless since he has a prejudice and doubt and distrust towards Toothless. The same goes in our family. Our father @ mother @ siblings @ all of the above will dislike our partner when they meet them for the first time especially when they are not quite ready for the ‘meeting’. Especially a surprise one, like in the movie and seeing us covering/protecting/ backing up our partner is just going to spark the prejudice/doubt/ distrust to a whole new level a.k.a infinity.

In the movie, Stoick took Toothless away from Hiccup. In real life, our family will take us away from our partner or drive them away or at least try to do so. But Hiccup loves Toothless so he went after him. If we really love our partner, we will do the same once we realize that you really need and love your partner and they are worth the trouble. 

So Hiccup went after Toothless. They fought the Giant Dragon and managed to defeat him. Of course in real life there are no giant dragons, or dragons for that matter but let’s think of the giant dragon as a trouble/problem/barrier/issue in life that we both have to face as a couple (or as friends etc). And if we work together with our partner like Hiccup and Toothless, we will get over it. In the movie, Toothless lost half a wing tail and Hiccup lost one of his feet. In real life, we might not lose a body part (well, depending on the situation anyway), but there will be some lost too; emotionally or mentally. But just like Toothless and Hiccups who accept each other’s flaws and helps each other with their problem and just being there while their partner needs them, so do you, we, everyone in relationships. And if we could do so, then we will have an ending like the movie; happy.

But then again, like isn’t the movie and the ending is only THE ENDING so before the end, we might have to repeat the process in the movie a few times, maybe more for some people. But we will learn in time. And with experience, we will be quicker the next time. So, of course you and me are not Hiccup and our partner is not a dragon, but as different as Hiccup, a boy and Toothless, a dragon, so aren’t we, right? Conclusion, people in new relationships ARE like Hiccups and Toothless but we can work it out; with efforts, patience and love.

p/s: I started writing with using 'you' as in adressing the public and not myself but when I think of it, I am in the same situation so I changed into 'we' as in including myself in this whole situation.

p/s2: I would like to read the book to know how the story is told in words. It's just so much diffrent seeing a story formed in words and in images.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Tea Person @ Coffee Person

   Some people like a cup of coffee in the morning to start of the day; coffee person while some like a cup of tea; tea person. I’m a tea person… I prefer a cup of tea to start off my morning; just a plain not too sweet cup of tea. I rarely drink coffee.. Unless when I need the caffeine; the only reason I drink coffee. As much as I hate to admit it, coffee can provide caffeine more than tea. Caffeine is like a stimulant, some kind of drug to my body; up and high when it’s inside. I drink coffee when I need to stay up and alert at night, or get through a morning after going through the whole night with no sleep. Usually the effect of the caffeine would last around 6 to 7 hours. One cup of coffee in the morning and I would be super active and super bright and super cheery; none of the person I should be in the morning because I’m not a morning person. (It’s my daily routine in the morning to wonder how people could be so up and cheery in the morning; with all the bright smiles and excited greetings. It never failed to amaze me and made me grunt grudgingly but that’s for another time.) And when the caffeine had worn off around afternoon, you would find me in a corner like someone who’s having a hangover. I never had any hangover for I don’t drink but I think it’s almost the same from the way from 1) no loud noises 2) no noises at all 3) no bright lights or anything that will stimulate the neurons in your brain or any of your senses. The aftereffect of the caffeine had been and will always be terrible but there are times that I just need it to get through the day. Ergo, it's natural that caffeine intake increases during exam weeks and near deadlines. That’s why I prefer less stimulating and comforting tea for normal days. Tea agrees amiably with my body and even if coffee makes me a highly productive person, I just don’t like it. I’m not a very productive person, I take everything according to my pace and my time and the way caffeine make me wanting everything done at that very time is so not me; because I’m not a coffee person, I’m a tea person. I’m writing this because I was studying through the night and drinking coffee to keep me up. Now I need sleep.....

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Bostjan Cesar of Slovenia

Last night I watched the match between England and Slovenia. Of course I’m talking about THE World Cup. I wanted to watch it because of England; because I haven’t seen any of England’s matches. Since I thought it would be nice to see some familiar faces. Believe it or not, I used to be a fan of Manchester United (note the past tense). I used to love Gary Neville. I still do but not as much as before. For some reason, I just do, I don’t know why. But that was then. This was last night’s story. So I watched the match and there were a few familiar faces; Gerard, Lampard, Rooney and Terry. Of course Beckham was by the bench.

I was set to support England. It’s just a thing people do. If you watch a match, you just have to pick a side, right? You can’t not pick a side. It’s just so unfair to be neutral. So I was set to support England but one man; one player changed it all. It was Slovenia’s Number 5 Defender; Bostjan Cesar. Why did I notice this man and why did he manage to make me support Slovenia instead of England which was the only reason I wanted to watch the match?

He’s an admirable player with great sportsmanship. Why? There was this one time when he tackled down England’s Defoe (I think) and Defoe was in pain but the referee ignored it and the match continued. Did you know what Cesar did? He raised his hand and asked for a little time off for Defoe. He kept raising his hand for the referee’s attention although his team had the ball at that time. The referee noticed and the match stopped for a few seconds while Defoe recovered. It wasn’t anything serious or anything but I was impressed. I was impressed with Bostjan Cesar.

It’s World Cup, people!! Player had done more than usually jersey pulling and hard tackle and even used hands to score a goal. It’s the match where man would do almost anything; dirty or not just to have the ball, to get a goal; to win. But this dignified man was sincerely worried about a fellow player and to me, it was admirable and honorable. Maybe I’m just exaggerating but I was touched; after watching match after matches that didn’t really seem fair, his action caught me by the heart. And I immediately switched sides from England to Slovenia; in just a blink. Not that I really support England from the start or anything. Anyway, I supported for Slovenia up to the end. And after the match was over, who knew America managed to get a goal at the very last second. Damn I was frustrated!! I wanted to watch more of Slovenia; I wanted to watch more of Cesar. Sigh~~~

But that’s the result; there’s nothing that can be done about it. But I truly wish that I could see more of Slovenia. But bear in mind that I had found an admirable player; an football player with great sportsmanship. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m exaggerating. Maybe I saw too much into a one time. Maybe other player did the same thing too. But not when I was watching, not during the England and Slovenia match. That’s why I salute you Bostjan Cesar of Slovenia!!!

Friday, June 18, 2010

Haven't Met You Yet

I love this song 'Haven't Met You Yet' by Michael Buble..
To those who is still waiting for that right person; for 'The One'~~

Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble


I'm not surprised,
Not everything lasts,
I've broken my heart so many times
I stopped keeping track
Talk myself in,
I talk myself out,
I get all worked up,
Then I let myself down,

I tried so very hard not to lose it;
I came up with a million excuses,
I thought I thought of every possibility,

And I know some day that it'll all turn out,
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get
I just haven't met you yet.

I might have to wait,
I'll never give up,
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck,
Wherever you are,
Whenever it's right,
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life.

And I know that we can be so amazing,
And baby your love is gonna change me,
And now I can see every possibility

They say all's fair
In love and war
But I won't need to fight it,
We'll get it right and,
We'll be united

I said love love love love love love love.....
I just haven't met you yet
Love love love .....
I just haven't met you yet!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

~~My Mr. Fireman~~

Mr.Fireman is my best Japanese friend in 高専(college). But he quitted college in May 2009. I was devastated because I thought I could never see him again and everything happened so quickly. I didn't have the chance to say goodbye and see him for the last time. The last time I saw and talked with him was when we headed back together to the dormitory after class. We parted like we usually did; with a wave and 'see you tomorrow'. But I didn't see him the next day or the day after that. Then I got the news that he had quitted (for a reason which it's not my place to tell) and he had left; he had packed all his stuff and left. I heard it from my tutor and I was very shocked. But I managed to keep a cool face in front of my tutor but when I came back to my room, I cried.

Yes, I cried. I cried because I would never see him again, because he didn't even say anything to me; less a goodbye, because it was too sudden to lose someone so important in my life at college; the friend that I finally made. He's a very cheerful and positive person. He makes me smile when I feel down, he makes me laugh just by being himself, he is the only Japanese that I can actually call a good friend. He's a very special person; what we have between us is very special but in a platonic kinda way. He knew how I still feel awkward around his friends n my classmates and he would stay by me, he would talk with me and help me getting into the 'group'/ the 'circle'. Any foreigner who had lived in Japan would know it's really hard to get past the politeness and just be comfortable with them; just be friends with them. And he let me into the circle of his friends. And since most of his friends are my classmate, they didn't have much problem going along well with me. I was so happy; I finally made real friends; not the kinda of friends who you waved and greet but have nothing to say to each other once you're alone.

Anyway, I was DEVASTATED when he left college, without telling me anything; without goodbye. I wanted a closure so I texted him and guess what? He replied with the same energetic, life-is-great tone of his and said we can always meet from time to time and we can text all the time. I wasn't convinced; I've used that line with my old friends before and now I barely have any. But I stayed hopeful and he was right, we stayed friends. We helped me through my toughest time; during the university entrance exam period. It was a routine that I called him before and after the exam; and after I knew the result. I failed two universities and the first was the worst. I called him and cried my heart out. He wasn't affected; I was crying my heart out while he laughed and said I will do better next time and I will surely pass next time. And I felt better than people telling me they were sorry and they wished they could do something for me. I felt better when he laughed and made jokes, weird isn't it?

And after me, it was his time for his exams and interviews to be a fireman. It was a difficult exam and I knew it was hard on him too but when I called and asked, he's always laughing, so energetic and so positive. And I couldn't help smiling and be positive myself when I talk with him. Then he passed the exams; despite people telling him it was impossible, he passed. I was so proud of him. After that, his training started. He was so busy that we rarely talked. And he only replied my text a few days later after I had sent them. But I didn't mind, I know he's busy....

And now, his training is over and he's a real fireman. Putting out fires and saving lives. He's still as busy but he will always find time to call me. Usually he would call after work so our conversation is usually short; I know he's tired so we would talk while he walks from his station to his apartment. Up until today I still can't believe he's a real fireman. But he when talked about what he did that day, how he was down when he couldn't save a person caught in fire, I realized that it's really happening. And I worry about him; a fireman is not an easy job and it involves injuries and worst, death. Just a few days ago he dislocated his shoulder carrying a man out from a burning house. Ouch...

I'm worried for him but the only thing I can do is to pray for his safety. Please, be safe.... He's my good friend and I couldn't imagine my life without him. Life is Japan wouldn't be as exciting and as bearable without you, Mr. Fireman….

Saturday, June 5, 2010

~silent treatment~

When I'm mad or hurt, I rather be silent...
Because if one word come out, it will followed by more words..
And I can't guarantee that it won't be hurtful....
Usually it does hurt; both ways...
So if I'm silent;
That doesn't mean I'm in despair or worried
That just mean I'm either
1) Mad
2) Hurt

~The End~

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Lucky I'm In Love With My Best Friend... or Not?

After the long silence, I'm finally back with my writing mood... And this is the subject that I had been thinking for quite some time.. So I decided to write about it; my own way of clearing my thoughts and coming up with a conclusion...

The BIG question before the main menu.....
1) Is it possible to be friend with a girl/guy i.e opposite sex?
The answer: possible

2) Is it possible to be BEST friends with a girl/guy i.e opposite sex?
The answer : IMPOSSIBLE unless...

Of course this is my own thought and the way I think so feel free to think the opposite. So, next stop; why?

One: I think it is possible to be friends with anyone as long you are willing to accept them; their way of life, their opinion towards life; their characteristic; as long as you are opened to whatever they have to give and you don't have the attitude of criticizing anything that is difffrent from your own way. So, it's possible to be friends with anyone, with the right attitude. This includes the opposite sex....

So why does it's a NO for 2?

Because a guy and a girl are bound to be attracted to each other when they become close. Why? Because they're the opposite sex... Men are from mars and women are from venus; ying and yang; opposite attracts. It's just the law of nature.So it is just natural to be attracted to the opposite sex, especially when you are close... And one side are bound to have feelings for the other. For example, Dawson Creek, One Three Hill etc. You become friends, then you become good friends then you realized you have feelings for your best friend, you tell them and they feel the same way too. Or they might not feel the same way at first but then afterwards they realized how important you are bla bla bla and then they realized;  they love you too.. Happy ending; that's of course in the movies... But in real life, things don't really go that well.

You become friends with a guy/a girl. You guys become best friends. Then you started to like them. At first you thought it's better to stay just as friends because you don't want to ruin your relationship etc (whatever reason you can think of). Then one day, that guy/girl found someone and they become a couple. And you were left alone to eat your heart out.... But then the guy/girl still thought you're their best friends so they keep hanging out with you and they dare to wonder why you don't really get along with their new bf/gf. And you're stuck in this weird love-hate relationship.. Things become so complicated and messy...

So, what do you do?

One, you act like a jerk by being selfish and telling the guy/girl how you don't like their bf/gf and being a good friend, they tried to be fair to both you and their gf/bf. However, it won't last for long... Feelings are bound to be hurt and hearts are bound to be broken. How could you possibly be happy spending time with someone when you know they are thinking about someone else? In the end your best friend will have to choose... Who do you think he/she will choose?

Two, you PRETEND like you're fine with everything but the fact is you're not fine with everything. So you become distant and avoid them etc. Or you automatically be in a bad mood once you see them together or heard about them.. And things will continue to be like that for as long as you choose for it to be like that. How could you possibly be happy thinking that the person that you love/like is with someone else; spending the time of their life while you're having a hell of a time crying your eyes out?

Three, you REALLY give up on the whole having a romantic relationship with your best friends and stay friends with them and be happy for them. It's the most difficult things to do but you will end up free from any messy, complicated I'm-in-love-with-my-best friend-but-he/she-has-a-gf/bf kinda problem... Then only you can REALLY be happy for them from the bottom of your heart because you simply care for them as friends; you want them to be happy and you want to be happy FOR them. 

The third way by just giving up and being happy with their own life is the best solution. Why? Because you should appreciate yourself before appreciating others.. You should love yourself before loving others.. How could you be happy with someone that you know do you no good but bring you sadness and tears? Be with someone that makes you feel good about yourself, and makes you want to be a better person... Not with someone who make you cry and make you hate yourself....

So, a guy and a girl can be best friends if and ONLY if, one side had been rejected. That's my conlusion of the whole can you be best friends with the opposite sex 'thing'. Lucky I'm In Love With My Best Friend If He/She Loves Me Back; that's my conclusion for the whole lucky I'm in love with my best friend 'thing'...I think that's about the right conclusion.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

New Way

    Life had taken me on a new way that I had never could even possibly imagine. But it had and I accept it with a open heart. I'm content; I'm not bitter nor I am sad. I'm still wandering and worrying but not regretting and grieving anymore. What had happened, happened and I accept it as my destiny. And so I've accepted that this is how my life will be from now on. I know my whole life hadn't been easy. I've been through so much and I will have to go through so much more. We, human struggle as long as we live and no one can run away from being challenged from time to time by our Creator. And I know, I believe that He wouldn't give me challenges that He knew I couldn't handle. And I know this is not the end of my story, I still have to face challenges ahead. Unlike movies, there's no happy ending after one challenge, you have to live through thousands of challenges to get your own happy ending. Today, it's my day, my time to face the challenge that God had installed for me. I accept it, I'll go through it. I know there's a silver lining from everything that had happened; there always be. And though I only know a small part of it for now, I know there's goodness from what had happened. I'm not very strong but I know I'm strong enough to accept everything that had happened.

   I don't need sympathy but I accept empathy and good intention.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Jane Austen ~ Let's read!!!

 I bought 'The Complete Novels of Jane Austen' months ago because I wanted to read 'Pride and Prejudice'. I've always wanted to read this piece but I never got the chance. I bought the complete novels because it was much cheaper than just buying only Pride and Prejudice. And months passed after I bought it since I really didn't have the time to read because I have this bad habit; when I started reading a book, everything else will have to wait until I finished reading it. But that habit had improved, I managed to put down my book and do some other stuff but I wouldn't be able to concentrate because my mind is filled with the character and the story from the book. And it will be for about a week even after I finished reading the book. That's how my mind and books work.

  So, I finally got the chance to read 'Pride and Prejudice' during last winter holiday and I like it so so much!!!! I love Elizabeth Bennet and I love Mr Darcy and I was so happy that they're togetther at the end of the story. A few months after 'Pride and Prejudice', last week, I read 'Emma' because I sorta remembered I heard about the movie when I was little. So I started reading Emma. And of course, I LOVE it. I like Emma most of the time, I like Mr Knightley all the time but I LOVE them together!!!

  I'm loving Jane Austen!! I know it's quite late but I don't think I'll like her if I read her novels when I was younger (high school) since that time I preferred reading 'fantasy' and mystery kinda novel like Harry Potter and Stephen King's novels. But when I came here, I started reading chic lit novels like Cecilia Ahern, Marian Keyes, Jennifer Weiner and Emily Giffin and of course Sophie Kinsella though I don't like the Shopaholic series much. I love it a lot (about a year ago). Probably because I was in the 'I wanna be in love' kinda mood.

  But I'm not in that mood now. Now I'm more in the 'I wanna enjoy my life' mood and will only think about a realistic and steady relationships. So, I guess that's why I like Austen's novels a lot now. The characters and the relationships inside the story is so realistic. Unlike other novels, Austen's characters are very realistic with their flaws and all. But or course you couldn't help to like them especially when you have something in common with them. I think I like Elizabeth Bennet and Emma Woodhouse probably because I found something in common with them. And it would be wonderful if I could meet someone like Mr Darcy or Mr Knightley. =P And I managed to relate some of the characters from the novels to the people around me and it made it so much easier for me to handle them.

  And now I'm watching the movies based on the novels. I've watched 'Pride and Prejudice' and currently watching BBC's Emma. Pride and Prejudice was overrall good. They changed some of the scene probably because there wasn't enough time to put all the details. But the characters in the movie very much capture the characteristic of the characters from the novel. Though I think the Elizabeth Bennet (Keira Knightley) in the movie is too 'giggly'. Mr Darcy (Matthew Macfayden) is nice, I like him though I did expected him to be 'younger'. But I like it alright. Now I'm watching BBC's Emma and I'll talk about it when I'm done.

 People probably know by now that I like reading very much and I can't understand those who don't read. Of course as student, you are 'obligated' to read textbooks and stuff so many could say they read all the time. But I can't call that reading since I think my kind of 'reading' is finding something to read according to your preference and reading it at your own will and interest, and thinking of it as a leisure and not a burden. So, I don't count reading textbooks for exams is 'reading' at all, maybe it can be called 'studying' instead. And I realized that by growing older and having more responsibilities, it would be harder to find time to read. But I think if you really want it, you will find a way to do it. And I found it quite comfortable to read a few pages before sleeping. It makes you relaxed and naturally you will feel sleepy; most of the time in my case. However, there are exception since there were times when I just couldn't put the book down and ended up reading it till morning without any sleep. Needless to say the next day was horrible but I was satisfied since I managed to read the whole story and know about the ending. And don't get me started on the people who read a few pages/chapters before skipping to the ending? What the???!! Where's the pleasure in that? Of course you get to know the ending, but doesn't it bother you not knowing what leads to the ending and how everybody changed that lead to the ending? The process is the most important part!! How could you skip it? It's just unbelievable..

  And since I like reading so much and can't understand people who don't read, I would like it very much for My Mister (refer to post My Mister) to be a reader like me. Then we could talk about books even our interest in books differs. Up until now, I only have a friend that I can really talk about what I read. Sad, I know but not many share my passion in reading and less share the same interest on the book I read. I can't imagine those who don't read at all; reading is the food for your mind. The more you read, the more you think and your mind will be opened to new things that you probably would never thought about hadn't you read that particular book. So, people.. Let's read!!! =D

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


When everything seemed so wrong and so hopeless what do you do? People have their own way in panicking and settling problems and deciding...

Mine is these four GOOD:

1) Good cry
        * I just to give myself a chance to cry your heart out for everything that had went wrong. This usually makes me feel better and lighter.. =D

2) Good shoulder to cry on
        * After that good cry alone, it would be helpful to have someone you can lean on and just cry on their shoulder. Most of us (me in this case) doesn't have the luxury for this one for many reasons; away from that someone or there's just no one around. Sad but that's life. They can't be there for you all the time, sometimes you just have to get through with it yourself.

3) Good company
       * After I had finished pouring your heart out into tears, it's time to pour them into words. Talking with someone else even about things that is not related to the problem would be very helpful. Of course it would be better if you can discuss about the problem with that person but sometimes, you just need someone to listen and talk to you. Usually I talk with my sister or my Mom, but not about the problem; just small talks to take my thoughts away from the problem.

4) Good food
        * This doesn't mean eating a whole basket of ice cream or anything extreme like that. Just a normal dish that I like or feel like eating at that time. If it's impossible, I would just improvise with what I have at that time.

5) Good shower
        * Long hot shower just wash everything away. There's nothing more refreshing than a long hot shower... After that shower, I feel so fresh and so high I could take on the world!! Exxegerating, I know..

After that, I will be up and about to think about the problem and make even the most difficult decision. I think my body and mind need to prepare themself before going into the battle field to decided life or death. This works for me but I don't know about anybody else. And of course, a good prayer is the best way to conclude everything~~

Tag by Mimie from Next Room~~

belive it or not, this is my first tag!!!! Thanks Mimie, I'm so happy and excited~~

Soalan 1 ~ Where is your cell phone ?

Depan mata... Waiting for certain 'someone' to reply mesej...

Soalan 2 ~ Relationship ?

Single and probably would be for quite some time~~

Soalan 3 ~ Your Hair ?


Soalan 4 ~ Work ?

Student? It's a lot of work...

Soalan 5 ~ Your sister ?

2 younger sisters

Soalan 6 ~ your favourite thing ?

my bed~~

Soalan 7 ~ Your dream last night ?

hmm.... don't remember

Soalan 8 ~ Your favourite drink ?

tea, cocoa, ikut mood

Soalan 9 ~ Your dream car ?

something cool n stylish.... cam Toyota Corolla Axio ke?

Soalan 10 ~ Your shoes ?

my comfortable flat sneakers; can't go wrong with it....

Soalan 11 ~ Your fears ?

cockroach; had always been this particular animal.

losing someone unexpectedly....

Soalan 12 ~ What do you want to be after 10 years ?

Successful job, loving family, happy life; isn't everybody wish for this?

Soalan 13 ~ Who did you hang out with last weekend ?

This week is a better choice I think..

Friday ; Went to Vogel Park and Ice Skating with Matsuerians..

Saturday; free sushi with Mimie and Japanese teacher...
Sunday; On my bed with myself  (Loving it!!)

Soalan 14 ~ Missing ?

Home, family and a shoulder to cry on~~

Soalan 15 ~ What are you thinking about right now ?

Tomorrow's exam

Soalan 16 ~ Favourite colour ?

Black and Red; but recently suke giler red...

Soalan 17 ~ Love ?

Accepting someone for who they are, how their mind work and how their heart feels; flaws included..

Soalan 18 ~ So who wants to share their one ? how about ?


and sape2 nk buat n ada masa nk buat...

Saturday, February 20, 2010

~My Dojo Atsushi~

Have you ever found the person whose personality is the exact same one with you only they're a bit older and had been through a few years of life before you? I'm talking about Kasahara Iku and Dojo Atsushi from Toshokan Sensou (Library War). So, I'll start by introducing these two people. Kasahara Iku is a new member of this library protecting army kinda thing. And Dojo is her instructor, Kasahara is known for her hot headed behavior and  recklessness. As the story unfold, Dojo used to be EXACTLY like her only since he was like 3 years older than her so he had been through everything and matured. In the anime, it shows how he care for her since she reminded him of himself when he was young(er) and how he couldn't ignore her no matter how much they fought and how angry she had made him. And the ending of course a very very happy ending. I REALLY like this anime. It's a serious one, you can tell when the title has the word 'WAR' but I watched it because I want to see what will happen to this couple. They're so SWEET and I want a guy like him!!! He's so supportive of her and since she's EXACTLY like his old self, he know just what to say and what to do. He's both strict and gentle; according to the situation. I LOVE him!!!! I want a guy like him!!! I want my version of Dojo Atsushi!

Anyway, since I watched this anime, I've been dreaming of finding the same guy; the one whose older with a personality just like me. I didn't know that that guy was so close and so near until one day we talked and he told me about the times when he was young(er) and he said when he looked at me, he was reminded of himself when he was young(er). I never expected him to be just like me since now he has the opposite personality of me (like night and day). Now I know how Kasahara Iku felt when she was told Dojo used to be exactly like her. It was overwhelming and kinda mindblowing to know that I might end up like him. Anyway, I've found the guy for me like Dojo to Kasahara, I've found my Dojo Atsushi but unlike this couple, he's just not the one for me. Now I know what people mean when they say be careful with what you wish for/ sometimes what you wish for isn't what you need/ really want. Yes, what I wished for is not what I need but I'm glad to find someone whose personality exactly like mine and I have a rough idea what will happened if worst come to worst. =P

 So, here's a few pics from Toshokan Sensou; my fav pic of Kasahara and Dojo. =D

The Team

Kasahara's first impression of Dojo

Kasahara Iku; the heroine. I like her~~

Cool!!!!! Kakkoi!!!! Men in uniform are so cool~~

A routine; fighting

Another level of fighting

Fighting again..

So funny~~


The sweetest ending!!!! Love it!!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

~~Beautiful Disaster~~

He drowns in his dreams

An exquisite extreme, I know

He's as damned as he seems

And more heaven than a heart could hold

If I tried to save him

My whole world could cave in

It just ain't right

Just ain't right

 I don't know

I don't know what he's after

But he's so beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

And if I could hold on

Through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful?

Or just a beautiful disaster?

His magic and myth

As strong as what I believe

A tragedy with

More damage than a soul should see

And do I try to change him

So hard not to blame him

Hold on tight, hold on tight

I'm longing for love and the logical

But he's only happy, hysterical

I'm waiting for some kind of a miracle

Waiting so long

So long

He's soft to the touch

But frayed at the end; he breaks

He's never enough

And still he's more than I can take

He's beautiful

Such a beautiful disaster

Friday, February 5, 2010


   Finished my final presentation for my research last week, sent the thesis yesterday. Fuh~~ What a relief... NOT. Despite finishing the thing that had taken my whole time for these past 6 months?, I'm still buzy and the defination of buzy here is catching up with dateline for more reports and more preseantation and to top it of, I still have exams for the next 3 weeks which is very important for my graduation. I dare not to think about graduation until these exams are over. But of course, the world doesn't revoleve around me and according to my pace so, I would have to deal with a lot more things while facing exams and reports. And since I'm such a nice person, I've got myself an extra work by volunteering to help the 3rd year student with their exams and volunteered to make notes for them to study. I'm too nice, I should just let them be but I couldn't and I won't. I have to admite I have a soft spot for people who work hard to achieve what they want; one of the reaason why I used to like that particular person when I first came here. Let's keep that story for some other day.

  Great!!! You think you could have some rest after the storm was over but there's still a lot of storms coming my way. Here we go, again. Will I last through all these? I know I will. Because despite these february fever (a cute name that I gave to this whole buzy things), I've managed to find the silver lining. We have about a month before the semester come to an end and the spring holiday starts. And this is my last month here in this college. And somehow people are starting to treasure these last moments. People are nicer, happier and more friendly than usual. I think everyone can understand why; when the end is coming, people stop and treasure what they currently have. Typical human behavior. =D
   Which I appreciate since I'm doing the same too. In fact, I think this could be the 'recipe' for maintaining a good relationship with everyone. Ever seen the movies where the hero/ heroin only realized how important a person is until they lost them (death etc). But in the movies, they get to get back to their current life with the new knowledge; we can't. So, we just have to skip the whole 'going to our future life' and just started thinking about the importance of the people in our life despite their annoying habits or what they had done.
  This is my way of deciding if I want/need/ should hate/ignore someone or not. Warning for the extremeness of my thoughts. So, before I decided to hate someone, I think like this; if this person dies, will I be sad or will I regret not spending more time with him/ her or will I regret not treating him/her better? Extreme, right? I know but it works for me. So, if the answer is you will regret it or you will be sad, then you know what to do; APPRECIATE THEM!!!!! If the answer is Nah, I'll be fine/ I'll live then you can hate/ignore them. Most of the time the answer is you will be sad so you will end up not hating so many person in your life which I think is a good thing for stress. =)

Sunday, January 31, 2010


 Friends... There's a lot of defination to that particular word. I'm not a very nice person, I know and I don't take b******t and hypocrisy quite well and I have quite an attitude. So naturally my friends are only the people WITHOUT these two things and those who can stand me and see the true me underneath all the rudeness and harsh words.

  To tell you the truth, I don't have many friends (real, best friends). In my POV, friends are the person who know who I really am and I know who they really are, and still like and trust each other. I'm very strict about friends and friendship. I do NOT tolerate hypocrisy and/or betrayal AT ALL. Once someone betray me, they're out of my life FOREVER. So, naturally, quite many people had been out of my life or turned from 'friend' to 'acquaintance' or 'she/he is just someone I used to know from somewhere'.

  But I don't mind since I believe in 'quality' rather than 'quantity'. And when someone become my friend, I would do almost literally everything for them; even if it hurts and burdens me. That's how I appreciate my friends.

  Watching people around me, I realize people have more real friends than I am. I know why; my attitude. I don't mind and it made me appreciate the friends and the people whose willing to be around me despite knowing my true self. Thank you very much, you guys. So, in my appreciation towards them, I would like to introduce some of them.


* I talk with my family about mostly everything. But I share ALL my secrets with my sister, Athirah. When I said ALL, I mean EVERYTHING; she have all my dirt on her hand. And I can talk to her about anything, from gross stuff to serious stuff to girly stuff. Can't bear not talking to her. We can go on and talk all day. Both of us have busy life but we still talk or text.

Badlishah Era
* Fareehan
   I've known her since I entered the school in form 2. Became best friends ever, talked about a lot of things. High school was so much fun because of her. Even when I got into 5Sc1 where I'm the only girl, she was always there for me.Sadly, we don't contact that much since I came here; my fault, I know. But we always meet when I go back. Her house's 'Kurma Kambing' is the best and she knows how much I LOVE it!!! When we see each other once or twice a year, I really appreciate the way she talk to me like usual; like we never been apart at all. She might not realize how much I appreciate her still willing to be my friend despite me not contacting form time to time and meet only once a year. Thanks for your friendship~~

  I've become close to her in Form 4 and 5. Her class is next to mine and we have one class together. She's a very straightforward and what you see is what you got kinda person which I really like. No b******t from her. Both of us go to school with bike with our sisters so I always meet her at the parking place. And our mothers know each other. Her mother 'love' to feed me delicious food which I appreciate A LOT. Haha. And like Fareehan, she never mind me not contacting when I'm here and we usually meet when I'm back. The way she talked with me is like we had never been apart; something I really appreciate. Thank you~~

* 5Sc1 Classmates
   Since I was the only girl in that class, all of them are guys. And nice people too. We meet sometimes, usually during Raya but last year, we didn't manage to get together. They're very nice people and it's nice to see them even once in a year. We've been through a lot together during two years being classmates. Usually involved doing 'not so nice' things. Sweet sweet memories. I never regretted my choice entering that class. If I didn't make that choice, I might not he where I am right now. Thanks guys~~


* Geng JJ
   Most people from our batch know what 'Geng JJ' was. There was 7 of us; me, nina, aien, mimie, ila, adnan and shah. We did so many things together mostly at JJ near Kolej Kedua; I guess that what made people call of that name? Sweet Sweet memories; we had done so many things together!! Genting, JJ, Nasi Lemak, Bowling, Movies,Naza and lots more memorable things done between exams and tons of homework.Geng JJ is the my most important people back in PPKTJ. It was the thing that kept me moving during the stressful days.  And we chose two college here that seemed close on the map. Who know it would be this far, right gang? Tsuyama and Matsue. We will go our separate ways after this but I hope we can stay friends no matter what happen. NO MATTER WHAT~~

Matsue College Era (still here)
 We've been through a lot here in Matsue; we're together almost all the time. Reports, exams, guys, conbini, joyful,mishimaya,idol karaoke, badminton. Through thick and thin together. Just finished our graduation research presentation and now concentrating on graduating. We will go separate ways after this but friends forever!!

*Research Members
  At first, they all thought I was this 'nice, gentle and polite' girl; an image I built for the teachers. But they gradually realized they were wrong when we spent time together (usually under a lot of stress from the reports, study and researches). So, they found out who I really am; the outspoken, moody, I-don't-take- b******t kinda person. I've cried in front of all of them (sensei included) when I failed my first university entrance exam, cried on the sofa inside the lab when my research went weary in front one of them and sensei, burst in anger when I found out one of them were lying (sensei was there), object sensei's decision outloud in front all of them and etc; everything that show who I really am. And they still accept me for who I am; in fact they're more open to me than before. Now, I can behave like myself even in front of them and be comfortable it. I love spending time in that lab with all of them.

*Senpai and Kouhai
  Nice, interesting group of people. Always around to help and play. Matsuerians are the best~~

  There, I guess that's everyone. I've realized that sometimes even if we think that one person is our best friends, that doesn't mean they would think the same. We could think that they're our best friend but they could only be thinking about us just as a normal nice friend. And it hurts when you found out that cruel fact but there is nothing to do about it: you can't control how people feel about you. One can love one peson so much but that doesn't mean they will be loved with the same amount of love. That's how the human heart work; you can't control it. Sad but you would just t accept it. In my case, I never stop thinking and treating that person as a best friend even when she/he is clearly not thinking the same about me. Even if she/he doesn't appreciate what I have for them, I will appreciate the feeling and treasure them. It's not everyday that you can feel for a person like that so it's best to treasure the feeling. So, the person who I think and feel as my best friend/ friend will always be one even if they don't feel the same.

   To all my friend, thanks for bearing with this unpredictable, moody, annoying, proud human being with attitude which is me. I might not say it outloud but I really do appreciate your friendship and it's my treasure. =D

Monday, January 11, 2010

Broken Heart

The changes of the human heart never fails to marvel me; including mine. How at one time you're so in love with one person, so addcited with a drama/song/book/ect, so loving them from the bottom of your heart and can't imagine life without them; just enjoying everything and the other time you suddenly feel nothing about the person you used to be so crazy about or feel nothing when you watch the drama/song/ book again; thinking how in the world did I became so crazy and addicted to that one person or drama/song/book once upon a time ago; it baffles you to realize how may stupids things you've done, time you've wasted and the more you think about it, the more regrets you will have.

Easy example; a crush. When you were having that particular crush; everything around you revolves around that person; you think about them all the time; you want to spend time with them etc; all the I-can't-live-without-him/her kinda thing. And that time, you seriously, truly believe that you can't never live without them; you couldn't even imagine a life without them in it. That's what I would call the losing-your-mind-for-him/her (LYMFH) period. And no one; I mean NO ONE; not even your closest friends or your family could say or do anything to make you snap out of it. Then came the heartbreak period. They did something and you were heartbroken and decided to forget about them. But then they did some nice things, said something nice and you're back in the LYMFH period again. This cycles continued for a while; depending on individuals. Some went through this in months; some spent years.

Until one day, they entered the he/she-is-no-good-for-me period or I-deserve-better period; this is the period when you realized that this relationship/crush is not going anywhere and you deserve someone better. This is the period when you really made the decision to let go. After this period, comes the dealing-with-broken-heart period. Everyone have their own unique way. Some cried their eyes out and move on, some become a workaholic then realize it wasn't helping, cry their eyes out and moved on, some just realize there are more things in life than what they had settled for and move on; everyone have their own way of dealing with it and some might take more time than others. After all, healing a severe wound takes a lot of time; hence a wounded, broken and shattered to pieces human heart.  A quote from the Wizard of Oz; "Hearts will never be made practical until they can be made unbreakable." True indeed; it takes time when our hearts were broken; no matter what the reason might be; love, failure, betrayal or just cruel words. Like they say; time will heal and it's true. Because (a quote;) "When you lose someone, you don't lose them all at once. You lose them in pieces over time." That's why you will need the time; your own sweet time to get over a broken heart and move on.

"Moving on is simple, it's what you leave behind that makes it so difficult."


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."

So to all of you who had suffered a broken heart (I doubt there no one who had none), including myself; be strong. It's not the end of the world. The bigger power have woderful things instore for us and who are we to just wail and complaints at our current situation? Believe me, 10 years from now you will look back and say "Yeah.. I've been through that.. It was hard but I got over it... I'm happy with the way my life turned out..." In fact, looked back about 5 years ago or maybe last year's failure/broken heart. It doesn't feel that bad now, right? Human heart are very fragile to the slightest touch, to the simplest words and to the most ignorant acts but it is strong enough to continue beating and to move on even after crushed, broken and shattered into pieces.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Blood Type and Personality

Japanese have this interesting culture of judging a person's personality by their blood test and the other way around. It's very famous up to the point they have daily fortune telling using blood type instead of horoscope. I didn't know my blood type until quite recently. My lab member kept asking me about my blood type and it was killing them not knowing and killing me seeing them like that. So when I went back home to Malaysis last summer, I took the blood test and found out my blood type is B+.

So, when I came back to Japan, I told everyone and they were excited and relieved to know my result; weird rite? One thing settled. Or so I thought until one day I found out my lab professor have quite a deep interest in the relationship between blood type and personality. Btw, he told me his hobby is observing people; their personality, way of life etc. So, he started going on how I was a typical B type person; he said he had known I was one even before I took the blood test. Ok..... That made me curious so we spent about an hour talking about this while I ignored my graduation thesis. Nice rite?


So, here's some of the trait he told me.( most of them are bad traits) 

A - diligent (majime), perfectionist, worrywart, -----> In short; my professor. He admit it himself and from what I have seen, he's the typical A type.

B - self centered sometimes selfish, stubborn, like to have their own way, say opinion out loud and positive thinker (i.e sees good in things even when it's bad) -------> Me (according to him; I don't know if he said all these just to critisize me and I seriously think he secretly enjoying saying these to my face =_=)

AB - a bit crazy, unpredictable ------> He gave three names of my classmate and I couldn't do anything but nod and agree.

O - absent-minded, go with the flow (change according to people around), usually give up in the middle --------> a lab member of mine is an O; he's exactly like what's written on top. 


A ----> NEVER good with B; high rate of divorce for this couple 
    ----> not so great with AB but better than B
    ----> great with O

O -----> great with any because O will go with the flow

AB ----> the end of world with another AB


   I am what he said a typical B is and I couldn't agree more. My professor is an A; I could go along with him well most of the time but got pissed with him most of the time too. That could explained a lot. AB; I have to agree when I see that three classmates of mine. But you can't hate them which explains why AB is the universal recipient? O; probably the most flexible of all; he could survive anywhere. Most of Japanese are A type; that would explained why they're like what they are or the other way around... No wonder O is the universal donor....

  Some believe this culture begins because the need to know something personal about a person when we first meet so that we can have some expectation about their personality and how they would react. And since asking for blood type isn't rude like asking about their family or personal life, this culture started spreading and accepted. Sound good enough.....

  So, what's your blood time and does the given traits matches?

Friday, January 8, 2010

Me and Myself.....

 No one's perfect. We all know that but we don't really know our own imperfections or our own traits that people find annoying or hard to deal with. Is it ever possible to look at yourself objectively and list down all your charm points, annoying trait and bad habit? Some people might be too harsh on themself and some might be too lenient... I guess it's possible up to an extent but we can't never see ourself as the people around us sees us. It's physically and mentally impossible... So, what do to if you want to improve yourself and changed some bad habits or annoying traits? Probably as a new year resolution?

The traditional solution: ask the people around you; the people close to you. The problem: they would probably tell you the truth but not the WHOLE truth. Because they're afraid they might hurt your feeling. And they're right. No matter how much you say "I want your honest opinion. I won't be mad at all"; you will be hurt or at least thinking "Do I really do that?" or "Am I that bad?". So, better not put them and yourself in that situation.

  Ok, here me trying to look at me and my personality objectively. Feel free to add but I don't guarantee I wouldn't give you the "I didn't know that's how you're thinking of me.." kinda look. Kidding... No... Kidding.. No.. I don't know; you decide.. =D

  One, I'm a very moody person and the world have to move according to my mood.  To the people around me; be happy when I am and leave me alone when I'm not in the mood. And my mood swing gets worst with PMS (pre and post). Solution; currently working to smile even when I don't feel like it and be patient with the craziness and the pressure around me -----> Working very hard on it... (priority)

 Two, stubborn. (very?) If things's don't go my way, I'm outta the way. But I think I'm able to accept opinion and critics, maybe not at the moment but after a few days or hours of thinking (usually after a good night sleep). Solution; be more patient and always maintains a cool and calm manner ------> On it.

  Three, selfish/ self-centered? Someone said this right to my face. But I wasn't upset since I am a bit selfish and self-centered with someone I'm comfortable enough to be with. Solution; Be such only with certain people------> Solved.

  Fourth, a person I hate is a person I hate, for a long long long time. Up until now, not one person that I've learned to hate managed to make me like them again; no matter what they do. NEVER. Solution; don't make me hate you------> Solved

  Fifth, let-the- 'future me'- handle it- way of thinking. Bad... Very bad. I like to live in the present; the past is done;the future is yet to come. Solution; think about the future (be futuristic?) and plans ahead -------> Trying.

  Sixth, running away from problems (hate confrontation). I think I develop this trait since I came to Japan. Before, I like confrontation; I used to think is as a place to see how fast your brain and your mouth can keep up with the fight. Extreme right?  Now, say no to confrontation! I run away from problems until I can't run no more; usually when the problem caught up with me. Solution; get hold of the old me but not too extreme------> Thinking about it

  Seventh, my pride is high. It doesn't usually show but I know it's there; secretly lurking inside of me. Sometimes, it's the only thing that keeps me going when I'm at my lowest. Solution; no need for one? ------> Solved for the time being..

  There, I managed to list seven of my weakness. Though I think there are worst things that I might not realize or in denial to realize. Feel free to add; seriously. I really think I can handle it; I think so. =D

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

New Year's Gift

I've started a new tradition for myself; buying a New Year's Gift for myself. It maybe another reason for me to buy something I like but who cares? As long as I'm happy right? Two years ago, I spent my winter hols in Tokyo with my best of friends; my JJ gang. And I shopped A LOT at that time.  2008 New Year's gift(s) include a grey evening coat from Uniqlo (I've always wanted one and it was on sale), a black and pink tote? bag from Adidas and a few more.

Last year, 2009; I spent my new year alone in a hotel; literally ALONE. No friends or even acquaintances around me and I was sad as hell. I realized at that time human CANNOT live alone and how important communication with other human is. Valuable lesson learned from last year new year. And  I got myself a new purse; a long light brown with alphabets purse. I've been wanting to buy that particular purse for quite some time now. So when I walked around the shopping mall alone and I saw it on sale, I bought it without thinking much. It's not from a famous brand but I like the design and it's not  expensive. I've used it since and I really like it.

So this year I was thinking of getting myself something for the new year. Btw, I spent 2010 new year alone again but I didn't feel sad at all. I needed a time alone for myself especially when I took a break from my research on 30 Dec for a while. My research will continue after 6 Jan so I really needed the time alone from everything. It was heaven!!! I sat all day long inside the warm futon and do nothing but watch TV, eat junk food and surf the Net. I had a round of snow fight before my kouhai left Matsue so I was satisfied with the little adventure we had. I stayed inside all day long. It was really NICE!!! After about a month of waking up early and sleeping late for my babies, I got some time away from my babies. God, I LOVE being single again~~ Parenthood took all my time and life. I'm so glad I had myself to myself again....

 So, I was very satisfied with my New Year with myself. So, the gift. What I really want was a super nice red coat from Forever 21. The coat is cheap compared to its usual price. But I couldn't bring myself to buy it because I already have a lot of coats (not a red one though) so I gave up and decided I will buy it some other time (if it's still on sale). It was a tough decision to make for I really wanted a red coat. But I got to live with my decision.  I needed and wanted to find something, so me and Fika, my kouhai went to Saty (a shopping mall in Matsue) and I looked around for gifts. To myself and for a few coming birthdays. I found the gifts for others but couldn't decided what to buy for myself. Nothing interest me that much and I don't really need anything in particular.

In the end, I found a cute bracelet and thinking that it would nice substitute for my fav heart necklace that I've lost (Come back to me, dear necklace!!!), so I bought it.  It was nice and girlish. Haha.. I know, not ME but who cares? I thought about it a lot before deciding so it was a smart decision. Also I've learnt how to know whether you're going to regret buying that 'something' or regret NOT buying that 'something'. It takes a lot of practice and I can say that I've become a wise shopper. So I bought it. And I got myself a planner; the pocket diary/ appoinment notebook/schedule diary kinda thing. (I don't know the official name?) I saw a lot of Japanese use it and I started using it myself last year. It's VERY useful. So, there I have it. 2010 New Year's Gift(s) is a cute bracelet and a nice planner/ pocket diary/ appoinmentt book.

I think I'm going to continue with this tradition. While people go around writing their new year resolution or recap of what happened last year, I don't. Coz I could barely remember month by month what happened last year. And usually my new year resolution never come true for I will forget about it in around February. So buying these New Year's Gift will remind me what I was thinking when I bought it and what had happened after I bought it. Kinda like a remainder for the not-so-clear new year resolution and a remainder what had happened before and after I bought it.

 Someone told me 'ものより思い出’ (Mono yori omoide) which means 'Memories are more important than things' but I think in this case, 'ものから思い出' (Mono kara Omoide) which means 'Memories FROM things'. =D

My 2010 New Year's Gift(s)