Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A Heart Breaking & Mind Wrecking Weekend

The tittle said it all; how I had gone through my weekend. Those close to me might immediately understand why because they know exactly what happened.



On Saturday, we had our foreign students activity; we went to Daisen to watch momiji. It was ok despite a certain annoying person. When we came back, I had to prepare to go to Osaka that night with bus. Ok, fine. I'm tired but I'll live. I'm going to Osaka not to have fun but to take an exam. Ok, fine. I still can go through with it. But then Nina called and tell me something that just made my world fell apart. Her senior; which I had known through her stories from the first time she met him; which I learn to like though I never met him; which I believe with all my heart that he's a very nice person, had died because of an accident. Nina was still in shock so she didn't say much but I cried hard. I cried for his misfortune; I cried for the future he will never see; I cried for his family and friends and mostly I cried because I know how much he meant to Nina; how much his friendship and his kindness meant to Nina.



I cried so much it puzzled me why. I never met this guy, I never even saw his face, all I know about him is stories I heard from Nina; from the first day she met him until the day before he died. Is it just me or it is just normal? I know how it feel to lose someone while the last you saw them was them talking and smiling; being alive. At first it just doesn't make sense. But when the realization sank it; you will cry your heart out; when you realize that they've gone and will NEVER come back again. And I probably cried so hard because I know how it feels; how much it hurts. And he was a very nice person. And when I think about the promises he made; that will NEVER be fufilled, how can I not cry?



Human never learn how to cope with losing; no matter how many time you've gone through it. Losing is never easy; never was. This is hard for me, and I know it's harder for her, but we'll get through this; we will. That is why human forgets; so that the pain will grew numb and slowly forgotten with time. And in this case, nothing can EVER truly heals the pain but time will heal the pain; it will make the pain bearable; and eventually it will help us move on.


If you still remember, yes, after hearing the news, I got on my bus to Osaka, alone. I realized that was the kinda of time when you really want and need someone by your side; just to be there and just to listen to you cry or just listen to your silence. And I did have someone. He wasn't by my side but he stayed with me as long as I wanted. I did called someone before I went out but it was a mistake; now I've realized. But as I sat at the station alone; surrounded by strangers who know nothing about me and my sadness; he called. God knows how grateful I was to be able to just talk to someone; to just cry to someone who care. Thank you for being there for me. You're a true friend; a savior; I can't imagine my life without you~~


In loving memories of Okamoto Kazutoshi (岡本和敏)Though I never met you and never will, I've come to know you as a nice and kind person; a person who was able to light another's day. Someone said a person's value is judged by the tears people cried for them when they died. I don't know how many cried for you, but I know that a perfect stranger had shed tears for your lost; you value that much. Your kindness and memories will never be forgoten; they shall live forever in our memory.

1 comment:

  1. tiap2 kali baca post ko yg ni..
    mesti air mata bergenang..
    seriesly=(((

    ReplyDelete