Forgotten Promise

I've been thinking a lot for these past weeks and after a lots of laughter and tears, I've decided to stay. Btw, the 'stay' here doesn't refer to a place; it's more to a feeling so even if you don't understand, don't mind; I'm just rambling my thoughts here; that's how I always sort things out.

Yes, I've decided to stay.. Why? Because I can't imagine myself letting go and I don't wanna be miserable. And I know even if I decided to let go, I will fail trying; I'm not good at letting go especially without a closure. (Again, me rambling; ignore me). So, I'm just gonna stay and just enjoy the moment. I'm not gonna worry or think about the future, I'm just gonna live my current life to the fullest and when the time comes and I have to decide; so I will. I'll let the future 'me' handle that problem... (my fav quotes from How I Met Your Mother)

Btw, I LOVE 'How I Met Your Mother'. (Spoilers) I just love how Ted tells his kids about his life. And he had been through a lot of things with people he never expect. It shows how life is very unpredictable and how we should just take it as it comes and enjoy it!


I made my decision after I've watched an episode of Ugly Betty. Yes, I love Ugly Betty. (Spoilers) It's an episode when Betty and Henry decided to date secretly though Henry will be leaving in 5 months to meet his pregnant girlfriend. Betty almost gave up on Henry when Hilda said if she were given one more day with Santos(her dead husband), she will take even she know she will cry and be heartbroken after that. OMG!!! What she said when deep into my heart; it's something I've almost forgot.

There's a song I love. It's by Ronan Keating, If Tomorrow Never Comes. "Coz I've lost loved ones in my life; who'll never know how much I love them. Now I live with those regret that my true feelings for them never were revelaed. So I made a promise to myself; to say each day how much she means to me.. "

This is the exact same promise I've made to myself the last time I've lost my loved ones. Even until now I couldn't stop regretting that I've couldn't done more for them, I could've be kinder, I could've be more patient, I could've be angry lesser, I could've smile and laugh more and just enjoy the moment when they were by my side; no matter how hard the times were. And believe me when I say those kinda regret never fade; especially when you remember the times you had with them. 'If only I...... at that time...' So I've decided not to hesitate or to be shy to show how much I care, how much I love. People might say I'm too open, too straight-forward. But they don't realize how short our lives is. Our lives is too short to be shy to say I LOVE YOU, too short to just watch the person you like walk by instead saying hi, too short to just ignore them instead of just to look at them and feel how much you love them, too short to hold your tongue instead of telling them how they've been on your mind; to short to just NOT doing anything!

I've forgotten about that promise. And watching Betty last night; it just reminded me about what I've promised myself. To show how much they means to me, to show how much I love them, to show how precious they are to me; everything I could do so that they would know how much I care about them and how I feel about them.

That's why I've decided to stay; to hold on; no matter how twisted I will be, no matter how hard I will cry and no matter how heartbroken I will be later.I can't let go. This moment is to precious for me to just walk away. I know I will get hurt, I know I will be heartbroken but at the same time, I can look back and say "I've done everything I could. Altough things turned out to be like this, I have NO regret"