Déjà vu (Rambling; read with cautions)

(From Wiki)
Déjà vu is the experience of feeling sure that one has witnessed or experienced a new situation previously (an individual feels as though an event has already happened or has happened in the recent past), although the exact circumstances of the previous encounter are uncertain.


Long story short; when something happened at a particular moment, you suddenly feel like you've seen/done/heard this before. I experienced 3 déjà vu ( I don't know the plural for it) this year; 2 with the same person. You don't feel it coming but then something just struck and you're like "I've seen/done this before!!" Yeah, that's how my déjà vu happened; the most recent one was last Tuesday at my lab. I got the feeling that I've been in that particular situation but I never noticed I was speaking Japanese or being in Japan; it was more like a distant yet full of impact kinda feeling. I'm sure everyone have at least one experience with déjà vu. No? Anyone?


But then again, there's the thing that you've been through and you think you had gotten over it but then it turned out you're not and whatever happened before happen again; the 'sarcastic and cruel' kinda déjà vu. For example, falling in love with the same person though you know with all your heart that he is just not for you and you thought you're over him but it turned out you weren't and now you're desperately falling in love with him again despite the FACT that you know how it will end; ugly and you know you will get tired and get hurt like before but you can't just stop yourself.


How about that kinda déjà vu; knowing how something will happen and how it will end but you are so powerless to do anything about it. That just sucks... I know and honestly I'm going through one myself. Yeah, what's new? (I know you're rolling your eyes, Miss!!!) But that is just what I'm doing. I don't mean to be sarcastic or ungrateful but EASIER SAID THAN DONE. Believe me because I've been both the 'saying' person and 'doing' person before, now too. So I know how both party feel; believe me. And no one can do anything about it. The 'saying' person will be like "Come on!!! Get over it already!!!" while the 'doing' person is like "I can't get over it!! You don't understand my feeling!!!" Bla bla bla and it might end up in a fight.


But to tell you the truth; both party are right; from their own point of view. No one can understand someone's feeling unless they have been through 'EXACTLY' the same thing and thinking 'EXACTLY' how the person is. Which is IMPOSSIBLE. I think the best way possible is for both the 'saying' person and the 'doing' person to just listen to each other although deep inside you can't just wait to scream out and tell them how you really feel coz at the end of the day, we don't expect someone to settle our problem (that would be great but let's not hope too much), we just want someone to listen to what we're saying and feel that someone actually care. *For women only, I don't know if guys feels the same..


So, I'm going through this déjà vu thing and I know how it will end and maybe with some luck, I can get a better ending than before (unlikely). And I would really appreciate if you could just listen and just... LISTEN. "We've been over this before" "I thought you've got over this" "You know what I'm going to say.." "You're letting it happen again!!" "Take control! Change the ending!!"----> this is the kinda thing that I wouldn't want anyone to say to me when this déjà vu thingy is going on. In the end, I just want you to lend an ear and listen for you're not in my shoes; you can never will be (not your fault btw) so could you please just listen and just be there. Coz this is the time I might need you the most. Tough love is great love but it can break you sometimes; especially when you're at your weakest. Who said love was easy? (they've surely never love or being loved----> families included). Loving and caring for a person can be so difficult for because of a touch; you can either hurt or heal... (wow, I just said something nice~~)


Conclusion; if someone is yapping and whining about the things you know they had been through and they're letting themself suffer again, the words "We've been through this" is an absolute no-no. Just listen and if you don't know what to say, say these exact words: "I don't know what to say because I'm not going through what you're going through right now. All I can do is just listen so just tell me everything you want to ok? I'll be here and I will listen to you..." Not so hard eh? But why most people find it VERY difficult to say these few words instead they would rather fight, scream, yell and hurt each other. Makes you wonder huh?