Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The 'Loop'

Do you have the 'loop'? Where do you do the same thing over and over again no matter how many times the same thing happens and you promised yourself this time it's going to be diffrent. An extreme example; domestic violence. The wife can't never get out of the 'loop' because when the husband apologize she would think this would be the last time; he won't do it again. And the loop continues until something or someone help to break the loop; usually intervention from outside. Another example; a typical example is how people always fall in love again and again with the same person (usually a bad boy or a bad girl). They treat you wrong, you give up; they apologized, you accept. And the 'loop' continues.

Don't worry coz it is NOT domestic violence in my case (coz I have no 'domestic' to begin with) or not the 'fall in love over and over again' part (not exactly). It's how I always forgive people who had wronged or hurt me. But only the people I really care or I thought worth caring. Other people who are nothing or nothing much to me, I don't care if they hurt me or wronged me coz I don't give a damn; I don't get hurt. But when the people who you really care (from the bottom of your heart, if I might add) hurt you or wronged you, the pain and anger is nothing like anyone can imagine; it hurts so much and very frustrating since you can't do anything to make it stop.

But of course, there's the 'loop' so if they apologized or do something sweet to make up for whatever wrong or mistakes they had done, no need to say, you give up and accept their apology--> the 'loop'. Need  I say more? Well, I've always been in the 'loop' and I can't get out of it. The 'loop' with my friend and the person that I like; the people around me. (I think family is excluded from this, at least mine is). I know I have to do something but that's the point; I can't. I'm too happy being in the 'loop', at least the happy part before the mistakes and after the mistakes. Twisted as it might sound, the loop makes me happy though I will be hurt at one point. And I don't call it a 'loop' for nothing; it happens over and over again; both the happy part and the hurtful part too.

Long story short, I was at the downside of the 'loop' 2 days ago but now I'm over the downside and back in the 'everything happy and nice' part of the loop. Still there and I hope the downside won't be coming too soon. Well, I can just enjoy this 'everything nice and happy' upside and just hope it would be some time before the downside decided to visit me again. Until then, peace from the 'loop'~~

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